i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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