Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
