More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
