That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
