my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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