its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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