If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
