No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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