One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
