wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
