Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
