you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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