my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
