Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
