I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
