Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
