Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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