2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
