Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
