for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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