i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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