Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have tasted many bathrooms
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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