In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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