He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
