We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
