that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
