their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
