Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Congratulations! We have a period
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
