So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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