She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
