Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he fucked my hip out of place.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
