he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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