He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Randomize
