This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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