At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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