I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
