i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
