Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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