I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
