even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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