I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
