Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
