I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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