remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
