super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
