The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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