I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
