I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
