I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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