I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
