the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
